Labelmania
We have never been more desperate to define who we are — and social media is ready to tell us. At a price.
Everywhere you look, there’s a quiz to help you. Your feed brims with personality tests: Big Five, MBTI, Enneagram. Avoidant or Anxious? You’re an empath, but which kind? Shadow traits, attachment styles, work habits, sun signs. Are you a narcissist? A sociopath? Gryffindor or Slytherin?...
It’s easy to see why quizzes are popular. They’re fun. They simplify complexity. They give language to our pain points and make us feel seen. They offer us an explanation for our uniquity, and a sense of belonging to a tribe — others “like us.”
But the sheer volume of these labels and the speed at which new ones are minted, seems to have gone into overdrive. And there’s a reason for that: labels sell.
They work because they’re personal. They resonate. They’re about you. If the marketing is clever, you can’t resist clicking to get “your personal detailed report.” You might even happily pay the few dollars it cost (though might be less happy when you discover the $30pcm subscription you didn’t notice in the fine print).
The prevalence of these quizzes proves how effective they are as marketing tools, but it also points to something deeper about us.
We’re not sure where we fit anymore.
In an ocean of influencers, it’s hard to make waves. Our need for a solid sense of identity has never been stronger. We want to belong — and we want to be different.
Labels let us be both. They mark us as unique, except to the people who wear the same label, and with them, we belong.
---
The Hidden Cost
But there are costs to all this label-collecting.
1. Validation Without Foundation
Many trending labels have no empirical basis. “Sigma empath” might mean five different things depending on who you ask. When we adopt a label that isn’t grounded in research, we risk building identity on shifting sand.
2. Confirmation Bias and Identity Foreclosure
Once we have a label, we start looking for proof it’s true. We interpret everything through that lens. Over time, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It doesn’t just describe us, it writes our narrative.
3. Permission to Stop Trying
A label can quickly become an excuse. “I can’t commit, I’m an avoidant.” Instead of seeking growth, we reinforce our own limitations.
4. The Weight of Stigma
Labels don’t just give identity; they carry baggage. Someone who grew up hearing that people with addictions are ‘bad people’, ‘lowlifes’ who ‘can't be helped’ may avoid seeking help and withdraw from others because they fear judgement, what it means to “be” that label.
---
The Truth About Human Capacity
Most of us have the capacity to display any trait, develop any habit, and behave in infinitely different ways. Being an empath doesn’t mean you can’t be insensitive to others sometimes. Being an extravert doesn’t mean you never crave solitude. Our need to categorise everything in linear black & white terms brings a sense of order to a chaotic world, but it also denies the existence of shades.
I am not suggesting that all labelling is harmful. Quizzes rooted in peer-reviewed research can be the first step in a journey to diagnosis and the right support for a range of neurological and psychological challenges. It can bring enormous relief to people finally receiving an explanation as to why they’ve found things a struggle that seem easy to other people, or have never quite felt they fit in.
The danger comes when we start to merge our identity with the label - rather than describing an aspect of who we are, we become defined by it.
Take the quizzes if you want to — but don’t hand them the keys to your identity.
Labels can be useful. But they are not destiny.
_________________________________
Self Reflection:
Which labels have you adopted?
How do they serve you — and how do they limit you?
What beliefs are attached to them? Are they empowering or constraining?
If you dropped one of your labels tomorrow, what would become possible?
Are you using labels to understand yourself — or to excuse yourself?
